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 Post subject: What do a Blonde and a moped have in common
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:45 am 
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Capo Bastone

Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2010 1:58 am
Posts: 308
Online: 1h 18m 30s
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Q: What goes VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM!?
A: A Blonde at a flashing red light.

Q: What do a Blonde and a moped have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Q: Why did the Blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"

Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to a Blonde?
A: It is the one with the kickstand.

Q: Why don't you give a Blonde a coal truck to drive?
A: It takes her nine months to deliver it.
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Q: What do you call a Blonde mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.

Q: Why did the Blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: What do a Blonde and a halogen headlamp have in common?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

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 Post subject: Joke
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 11:11 am 
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Giovane D'Honore

Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:16 am
Posts: 23
Online: 19m 52s
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Have known you right away when sensible , always you has been put in attentive upper , all the time strongly attached to and unforgettable, my job thinks that you, eat and misses you , misses you when going to bed intermittently , wants to own you-- at all times! RMB.
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 Post subject: Right And Wrong
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:58 am 
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Capo Bastone

Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2010 1:58 am
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Right And Wrong

Teacher writes a sum, 3 + 7 = 9, on the blackboard.
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Teacher: Is the sum right?
First Student: Wrong.
Second Student: Right.
First Student: Wrong.
Second Student: Right
First Student: 3 + 7 should be 10 and not 9, right?
Second Student: Right.
First Student: Then why did you say 3 + 7 is 9 right?
Second Student: Because you say it is wrong and I agreed with you.

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 Post subject: Hlelo word
PostPosted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:47 am 
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Capo Bastone

Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2010 1:58 am
Posts: 308
Online: 1h 18m 30s
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Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon.

They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men's game.

"Don't they know their supposed to let us play through?!" asked the first man.

The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play through," said the first man, emphatically, "Enough is enough!"

He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost.

"Oh God," he said to his friend, "This is awful. You're going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress!"

The other man shrugged, and said "No sweat."

He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said - "Small world isn't it!"
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 Post subject: the father began
PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:07 am 
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Capo Bastone

Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2010 1:58 am
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Online: 1h 18m 30s
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One day a little boy overhear his parents fighting. In the heat of the argument, the boy's father called his wife a bitch and in return, she called him a bastard. Curious, the little boy asked what these strange words ment.
"Well son..." the father began
"A bitch," the mother cut in, "is another word for a ladie and a bastard is another word for a gentalman"
"oh, I see," the little boy said and wandered off.Fendi Handbags
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Afew days later, once his parents' fight was over and they had "made-up," the little boy was sitting in his parents' bed, wathching TV. Trying to get comfterble, the little boy started ajusting the pillows. Under one of them he found a strang looking wrapper with the words "CONDOM size: small" on it.
"Mommy, Daddy, what's a condom?"
"A condom... a condom is a type of jacket." his father answered.
"oh, I see," said the boy and wandered off.

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 Post subject: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb
PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:57 am 
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Capo Bastone

Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2010 1:58 am
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# Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
A: None, they only screw the poor.

# Q: How many Quality managers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: We've formed a quality circle to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out and to determine the best thing we as managers can do to enable light bulbs to work smarter, not harder.
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# Q: How many admin assistants does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: None. I can't do anything unless you complete a light bulb design change request form.

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 Post subject: They told me at the blood bank this might happen
PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:30 am 
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Sgarrista

Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:19 am
Posts: 84
Online: 21m 19s
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10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
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5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

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 Post subject: If I show you a really good trick
PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 1:15 am 
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Sgarrista

Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:19 am
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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
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After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

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